A call to arms a day too late. I should have told you earlier, and for that I am sorry.
Today is a day we continue man's struggle, having spent the last month honing our upper lip there's a slight chance that you are still bearing your trophy. Don't look away embarrassed. Hold your 'tache up. Show it to the world.
That was only the beginning. It was the initial foundations of a scheme so complex that perhaps words won't explain it at all. Since words are all I have, I am at a loss for you.
This month is not December. It is Decembeard! Keep that woolly mammoth, and give it a family. This is winter, afterall, and you're going to need to keep warm. Put away that womanly scarf, hide those gloves (actually, keep the gloves, growing hair on hands is quite a tricky challenge), put down that manscara, no matter what the adverts tell you!
Winter is coming. No longer will the cold bite us, we will chomp it down for breakfast alongside copious servings of bacon and beer. For we are the believers of the Beard.
And what next? What happens when Decembeard ends? Do we give up?
Never! We move into Manuary, the most manly of months. Where you shall take part in felling trees or making masculine grunting noises as a method of responding to questions. Manuary is your chance to shine, for it is in your (hairy) hands the destiny that you pick. Just keep it manly.
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